Music
“Turn it down…turn it off!” “I don’t want you listening to that music.” These familiar commands have been spoken from one generation to another for years. Musical expression like any art form has always pushed the envelope. There was a time when the Beatles’ hair and Elvis’ pelvis had previous generations rocking. So, what has really changed?
Music is a vital part of the fabric of our culture. Exposure to music has always enhanced how a child thinks and learns. It is an effective stress reliever and allows your child a creative way to deal with feelings and connect with friends.
Even a child as young as 9 or 10 may begin using music to enhance intense feelings or use music to change a mood. Today, music may well be the most powerful form of media that your child consumes. So, the new parenting challenge posed by today’s sometimes extreme pop music culture is that you are increasingly called on to encourage a love of music while limiting exposure to music with offensive content and questionable values.
Today, your child is exposed to music that goes beyond artistic self-expression with just style and attitude. Music with disrespectful language, violent and sexualized content and lyrics that degrade women and the family are commonplace. Times have indeed changed.
And while you might find it easier to introduce music you approve of to your child when she is young, you might find it getting increasingly difficult to monitor your child’s music choices the older she gets. Do you feel overwhelmed with how much advertising is aimed directly at your child as a consumer of music? Do other parents reinforce the myth that there isn’t much you can do about the negative popular music your child is exposed to?
If you have these concerns take heart. The American Academy for Child and Adolescent Psychiatry publishes materials that state that music is more positive than negative for the child whose life is generally happy and healthy.
The only time to be concerned is when a child becomes preoccupied with music that has destructive themes and a parent notices serious changes in behavior. Yet, the proactive parent doesn’t wait until these concerns arise. You can take positive active steps right now to assure that your child learns to love all kinds of music while at the same time limiting exposure to music you find objectionable.
PROACTIVE STRATEGIES
FOR CREATING MEMORABLE MUSIC EXPERIENCES
Whether your child is a preschooler or entering early adolescence, expose your child to a variety of music types. Listen to classical music over dinner or sing folk songs when you go camping. But make sure you show your child that music of all types adds richness to living.
A wonderful way to enhance your child’s love of music is by learning to play an instrument. At about age nine or ten, your child may begin to demonstrate the attention, skills and desire necessary to practice and study a musical instrument.
When you make music a part of everyday family life, you will have more of an opportunity to share the music you like and listen to the music your child likes. Everyone need not love every type of music but having the opportunity to listen together will provide you with the opportunity to talk about what makes a song or an artist a good one.
When you and your child openly talk about music with opinions and feelings easily shared, you have a better chance to discuss the ground rules for music selection. You will need to share which artists are off limits and perhaps teach your child how to read Parent Advisory Labels.
A note of caution here though, your child will respond best to your limits if you also discuss what he can choose. Many a parent sets limits by only discussing what a child can’t do; making whatever is off limits more attractive. You might say, “I don’t feel comfortable with Marilyn Manson, but you can listen to Maroon 5 and Santana.” As I name a few artists, do you think to yourself, “I don’t like any of those artists”?
Well, in order to teach your child about the music you find acceptable and unacceptable, you will need to do your homework. Go online and use sites that help you make an informed decision. And find out about your local music store’s return policy. If your child buys a music CD that you do object to, take it back to the store. Since the advisory labels only give a warning and don’t prohibit the purchase, returning the product is an option.
Be sure to pick your battles though; not all the music your child listens to will fill you with peace and joy. As long as you don’t object to the language and the content, you might consider letting your child have some wins.
Monitoring exposure takes time. Surely, it is important to limit exposure when you can, especially when your child is young. Though, limiting exposure gets trickier as your child gets older, you can still do this most important work. Look closely at what CD covers and music videos are teaching.
Talk about how and why artists go to extremes to get the attention of young listeners. Take the time to teach your child how to be a savvy consumer. Keeping the door to communication open about music and its influence on values will be well worth your efforts.
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