Solving common sleep issues
The key to establishing healthy sleep patterns for your child is choosing an approach that suits your child and family, and then practicing the Three Cs of good sleep habits: consistency, consistency, consistency! Of course, once good patterns are established, you can be flexible on occasion. But keep in mind that every time you change the plan, your child must adjust. Your child’s sleep pattern will be altered by vacations and late-night visits with friends, and her behavior the next day will remind you how wonderful a good routine can be.
Even if you’ve done everything you can to promote healthy sleep habits in your child, he may at times sleep less than optimally. Take heart: You’re not alone. Poor sleep habits can arise any time in your child’s early years, but the sooner you put a solid plan in place, the sooner healthy sleep patterns will emerge.
Here are some common sleep issues parents contend with and some strategies for setting things straight.
Mistaking Night for Day
In the first few months of life, your baby doesn’t yet understand the distinction between day and night. But here are some things you can do bout it.
- Be patient. This is normal in a newborn and will get better as her neurological system matures.
- Get sleep when your baby sleeps, you need your energy to care for your baby.
- Make sleep the priority, not household chores and visiting.
- Ask your friends and family to help you out with housework, they really do want to help.
- Put your baby to bed before she’s fully asleep. The earlier your baby begins to learn to soothe herself, the better.
- Remember “nighttime=quiet time.” Your baby will eventually learn daytime is playtime, and nighttime is for sleeping.
Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is a common reason why good bedtime routines fall apart and setting firm yet loving limits is important. Try to see this time as an opportunity for you to help your child learn to calm himself. Start by always reassuring him that you are near and he is safe, and never try to sneak out or away from your child. This only reinforces what he is afraid of — that you’ll disappear and leave him alone and helpless. Continue with a simple routine. You may need to reassure him more often, but don’t alter the routine. Don’t be afraid to set limits on behavior, and be patient. Separation anxiety will get better as your child is reassured and limits are set.
Nighttime Waking
Begin by reviewing what you can expect from your child. Generally, a child under two sleeps eleven to twelve hours split between nighttime sleep and naps. Then ask yourself, “Is my child getting too much or too little sleep?” Either situation can be altering your child’s sleep pattern.
Next, start a journal of your child’s sleep patterns and the associations she makes to fall asleep. Look at these sleep associations. Is your child only falling asleep if you rock her to sleep or after an elaborate routine? Instead, keep the routine simple — one story or song and then bed. Also, limit daytime sleep to no longer than one or two sleep cycles which are approximately fifty minutes each. Your child may need to sleep in longer periods less often.
Finally, reassure her if crying is prolonged or distressed, but continue with the routine of placing her in bed awake, and leaving the room. Whatever plan you have used to get her to sleep early in the evening is the same plan you should use for the middle of the night. Resist the temptation to change the middle of the night plan because you are tired. You will unfortunately be giving your child a mixed message about needing to go sleep and stay there.
Bedtime Battles
By the time you move your child from crib to bed, you may see bedtime battles in full swing. Your child’s growing independence, coupled with the lack of the physical boundary the crib provides, may make going to sleep difficult for you and your child. And sometimes, complex sleep associations have developed.
The most troublesome ones have to do with a child not being able to fall asleep without you in the room. Start by simplifying the routine — one story or song, then the bed and then you leave. Use the same routine each time your child goes to bed. Your child needs the predictability of a solid routine. If your child cries or needs reassurance, go in after two to three minutes, but don’t talk — just lay her back down and leave. Then extend the length of time you wait to go in again, because your child needs time to learn to rely on herself.
Make these changes to the routine only when you know you can follow through, not before a vacation or if you’re going out the next evening. This common sleep problem can be solved quickly as long as you are consistent and stick with your plan. Remember, to keep talking to a minimum during this bedtime battle. If you talk you’re giving your child the message that going to bed is negotiable. And don’t give in on going to bed or the behavior will likely continue.
Of course, even the best sleep habits on your part won’t guarantee success. So what do you do if sleep becomes a struggle? Start by keeping a journal of bedtime routines and your child’s sleep patterns. The problem may reveal itself to you if you can observe patterns in behavior. For example, you might notice that your child falls asleep while you rock and sing to her, and you always put her to bed while she’s already sleeping.
If you do notice that your child always goes to bed asleep and then wakes crying for you, you may want to change your child’s sleep associations. Also, don’t forget to muster the support of your pediatrician or parenting professional. Sleep issues in a young child are generally easy to correct, and the sleep patterns you establish now set the stage for sleep patterns later in childhood. Regulating sleep issues early can save you many stressful nights.
Reprint with Permission